Appreciating Yourself.

Lately I've been thinking, reflecting on things.

...It takes about 35 minutes for me to just get to work. So that's an hour and ten minutes, Monday thru Saturday each day. So that's roughly, what, seven hours of thinking?? Yea.
And yesterday when I was taking that drive I just started thinking about how good I was feeling about myself.

When Ashley Sue and Veronica came over, we started discussing men/boys/whatever you wanna call them...and it was like a realization. Every guy I've ever encountered can be filed under a certain category. They're not all in the same ones, but they're subcategories of different "types" of guys. And there's different ones: "The Hookup Guy", "The Liar", "The I-Try-Too-Hard", "The 'Victim' ", and as we were talking...the list just got longer.

It's like the movie He's Just Not That Into You. Minus the happy ending right now and I'm not Gigi by any means.

And I don't know, somewhere inbetween writing about my past history with guys and doing all the driving back and forth to school...it just dawned on me that I really actually know who I am.
I'm not defined by these people, but they are indicators of who I've been.
In the midst of trying to find myself. I've been so many different things to so many people.

You have been too, I bet. We all have.
Do you ever just stop and ask if you really know yourself? It's so scary to think you don't know who you even are, but I believe that's a key ingredient to being happy. Or at least being happy with the fact that you're on your way to figuring out who you are.

I'm only 20 years young, but...I feel so empowered all of the sudden.
Like it REALLY doesn't matter if I'm good enough for anyone else; right now I'm good enough for myself.
There was a point, I think, where I just got sick of it. Sick of the text messages; of the guys asking to go out and then the date not getting anywhere.
(I would also just like to point out that if you ask a girl out through a text message, don't be surprised if she says 'no'...there's something so unpersonal about asking a girl on a date via text.)

I dunno.

I guess all I can really say is: I'm back.
And it feels so good.